Time

When I started this blog I told myself it was a place to be brave, a place to write without any expectations or judgements. Why do this in a public format, you might ask? Because I, like many people, am far too ruled by my fear of what others think. So this a a way to force myself to do the hard thing, to put my ideas out into the world regardless of how imperfect they may be. Not exactly the best way to generate a readership I know, but that's not really the point. So I've been feeling swamp lately, over committed, over tried, overwhelmed. I've been letting my fear and laziness get the better of me, half drafting posts only to let them languish. I was reading my favorite blog and wondered where the fifteen year old author found the time to write a blog, start a website for teenage girls, watch the entire Twin Peaks series, contact spirits on her Ouigi board, do her homework, eat, and of course try on outfit after outfit to create fashion collages that express her current aesthtic obsession. You could say, she doesn't have a job, or a spouse or a kid, but whatever, we are all busy and this girl is more productive then most adults I know, certainly more than me. So I started thinking about time, what the frog am I doing with my time, reruns of Friday Night Lights and BBC's North and South, yep. Living up to my creative potential, not so much. So I'm trying to use my time more wisely, to squeeze creativity into the crannies of my life (not sure why that sounds so dirty, oh well). During my daughter's naps, instead of looking at real estate listings that I can't afford and folding laundry, I'm going to write. The house will be messier, there will be one less looky-loo at the local open houses. But maybe I can get back on the old blog horse, maybe I can finishing a few frogging short stories, maybe I can prep for my classes.